alright, so, I was able to solve my own problem and will post it below. I hope it will help someone who is desperate like I was for last couple days :))
Step 1) Switch Your Post Object type to >> POST ID << in the return radio buttons
Step 2) Import the data with everything EXCEPT the POST OBJECT FIELD data, first we need to import the posts to create them
Step 3) Import the Data again, but dont create new posts, just use Title or any Identifier from CSV / XML to match and identify the post and Only update the POST OBJECT Field type.
Pat yourself on back and get a cup of coffee or beer :))
