<?php
$count = 0;
while( have_rows('carousel') ): the_row();
if ($count == 0) {
echo '<li data-target="#bs-carousel" data-slide-to="0" class="active"></li>';
} else {
echo '<li data-target="#bs-carousel" data-slide-to="'.$count.'"></li>';
}
$count++;
endwihle; ?>
try something like above.
and try to adapt it for slide too. (define counter outside of while, check for first counter add there the active. do else, and increase count before endwhile)